Monthly Archives: January 2008

Hebrew: Not (Quite) Dead Yet

For Lent I’m going to preach from the Old Testament. (That doesn’t mean what you think. It’s just that I mostly preach from the gospels.) It was a trip to be reading the ‘brew again.

I did my translation of Genesis 2:15-17,3:1-7. The first verse was a disaster, because the first word was yiqqach and I’d forgotten about roots where the initial L just vanishes (like LQH). But by the end, I was coming back strong, staring at words like nechmad and thinking that must be a niphal from HMD. (Then trying to remember what the niphal signified, but that’s another story.)

I’m gratified to note here that while my m4d H3br3w sk1llz aren’t what they used to be (i.e., pathetic but serviceable), I was able, eventually, to work my way through the entire mess. Hooray for me and Summer Hebrew.

Foul Queso

We were too lazy at New Year’s to make our own chili con queso, so we decided to try this:

Foul Queso

It is foul. We couldn’t get through a single 13-oz tub. Not on New Year’s End, not even half. When we looked at it in the refrigerator a few days later, nobody could work up any enthusiasm to try it again:

Foul Queso

Despite what the label says (“New Bowl, Same Great Taste!”) it’s not the same great taste. In fact, it’s a big-ass lie. The cheese sauce at Taco Bell is actually edible. (Arguably. I’m not saying it’s health food, or that it’s all-natural.) And even if you don’t like Taco Bell’s product, you’d see that this isn’t it from the 2nd photo. Tango Bravo cheese sauce is a brilliant day-glow yellow, not this muddy orange sludge. If you’ve never seen it, it’s almost worth navigating through the Flash-only Taco Bell web site to see them. Almost, but not quite. Flash-only web-sites should be boycotted, and you can just trust me that the cheese is a vibrant lemon-yellow color.

Anyway, this tub of whatever-it-is says “Taco Bell” on the label, but it’s actually made by Kraft rather than Taco Bell.

I was going to write Taco Bell’s corporate overlords (NYSE:YUM) and tell them they were morons to let Kraft (NYSE:KFT) dilute their brand selling nasty effluent like this. But the Taco Bell’s web site is content-free; if there’s a place that tells me where to send a letter like that, I couldn’t find it. (My idea was to send the letter to TB with a copy to Kraft.) Then I looked at the YUM! foods web site, which isn’t flash-only but is largely content-free. Kraft is no better.

What the hell is wrong with corporate America? Why do they make it so hard to tell them they’re screwing the pooch? Or are these uniquely stupid companies? I can’t buy a stick of gum from Wal-Mart without being asked questions about my shopping experience by the credit card scanner, and then the receipt importunes me to go online and take a survey. Why does Wal-Mart want so desperately to know what I think and Kraft and Taco Bell not care at all?