But if you were listening to the right radio stations in the 1970s, you know that’s not just any question. It’s also the title of a song by the Tubes. They suggest several possible answers (“To kidnap an heiress and threaten her with a knife?” or “An Indian guru to show you the inner light?”) before concluding with the unfortunate news:
Well, you can’t have that,
But, if you’re an American Citizen,
you are entitled to…
…followed by several excellent entitlements, including:
A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi
A Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce
And so forth. See the whole list at the Tubes’ lyrics site.