Category Archives: Christianity

World Communion Sunday

As you know, I was ordained a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church (USA) eight days ago, on Rosh Hashana. This morning I officiated in my church’s celebration of the Lord’s Supper. This was the first time, since in the Presbyterian Church, you can’t administer sacraments until you’re ordained as a minister of Word and Sacrament. Until today, the closest I ever got was to stand up next to my field ed supervisor when she officiated at the Lord’s Table.

Since today was also World Communion Sunday, this first-ever time officiating at Communion was particularly special. The lectionary passage was Mark 9:38-50, a passage that certainly lends itself to ecumenical application. As a result, I had no trouble putting together a sermon, despite the hectic (travel-packed) schedule last week.

However, I learned that it’s hard to maneuver around the Table while wearing a 16th-century robe and a whatever-century-it-was stole, today being also the first time I wore the official get-up. I also learned that practicing the liturgy isn’t enough: you also need to work out with the servers who will stand where, and when, and whether the pastor is served first or last, and other practical matters of that sort. But most of all, I learned not to misplace the last page of your sermon.

Back in the office

Well, Colorado was swell. The ordination went swimmingly, and it was truly wonderful to see so many friends from my old church. My pastor invited me to assist in worship the next day. Since the paperwork hadn’t gone out yet, my membership had not yet been transferred to my new Presbytery. I didn’t have to get permission to labor outside my Presbytery, since I was still in it.

I got back to California on Tuesday, and was back in the office on Thursday and Friday, working on a sermon. (“At Dunkin Donuts, it’s always time to make the donuts.”) I also located and began practicing a litany ((?) church terminology always confuses me) for the Celebration of the Lord’s Supper. My seminary PBUI didn’t offer a Word and Act class the semester I wanted to take it, and frankly I probably wouldn’t have taken it if they did. All I needed to do was to run through the litany about 45 times and I might have it down well enough to get through the service. And if I’m wrong and I don’t, well, I can console myself with the thought that Martin Luther nearly spilled the wine the first time he celebrated Communion.

I have pictures. But I haven’t learned yet how to post them. There’s a way that I’ve used in the past, but I can’t believe it’s the right way. I want to look for a better way to do it, and only fall back on the kludge when I’m convinced that there’s nothing better.

Ten days on the job. Time for a break.

I started pastoring on the September 10, and worked all last week except Friday and Saturday, my days off, except that I secretly worked some then too so I would have a sermon to preach on the 17th. (Not the whole time: we also went to Joshua Tree National Park.) It’s been a pretty good week or 10 days. Lots of surprises but only a handful were unpleasant.

But now it’s time for a well-deserved break. I’m off this weekend, so I can be ordained. You see, this past week I wasn’t officially a Pastor, because Pastors are Ministers of Word and Sacrament. I’ve been some kind of stated supply layperson. (I have no idea what “stated” means in terms like that, but Presbyterians use “stated” all over the place, whenever we start talking about our polity.) Anyway, this weekend I’ll be ordained to the ministry of Word and Sacrament. No raise in pay comes with this change, but I will be entitled to use the title “Reverend.”

Unexpected danger at the office

Prior to going to seminary I’d never worked in a church. I mean, I’d been an adult volunteer who participated in the various ministries of the church, but I’d never been on the church staff. So I never “worked” in the church. But I do work in a church now.

(In fact, I’m the only one in the building for much of the day, depending on what committees are meeting and so forth. (And in case you’re planning a robbery, I will point out that the only cash in the building is what I have on my person. So run that through a cost-benefit analysis first.))

Anyway, I’m discovering things I wouldn’t have guessed. Like for example, it turns out that freezer in the kitchen has about 10 partly-full half-gallon packs of ice cream. I discovered that today when I was looking to see if the freezer had an ice-maker. (It does.) Temptation being just as prevalent on church grounds as elsewhere, I immediately started hearing the whispering voice inside my head point out how this is the perfect crime. Who could remember how much each of TEN ice-cream cartons had in them? The only way I’d be caught is if someone weighed me. On the other hand, you have to figure that with 10 packages in there, some of them probably date from 2003. (“An excellent year.”)

California, Here We Have Come!

Well, here we are. Ten days of traveling and ten nights in hotels, 2859 miles of driving, and now we’re officially Part of the Problem.

I stopped off at the new church yesterday but any further contacts there will be on the sly, since I don’t officially begin until September 10. We get our house on the 14th and we unpack the moving van (actually the trailer, which the tractor will drop off there) on the 14th and 15th. Then I have two whole weeks to figure out how to be a pastor, because it wasn’t a big part of what we studied in seminary.

On the road again

I’m blogging while traveling. Well, actually, I’m in a hotel right now, but I’ll be traveling again in an hour or two or three. This is the 3rd hotel we’ve been in and it’s the first whose “free hi-speed internet” worked, so I hope to be able to blog every third or fourth day going forward.

Today we’re in Cleveland, Tennessee (“the blogging state”). Today we’re bound for Huntsville, AL, to see the Marshall Space Flight Center. Then it’s westward ho, straight down I-40 another couple of months until we hit Memphis. From there it’s a clean shot west all the way to California. (“…here we come!”). Although we may deviate from this plan to visit Southern New Mexico and then take I-10 in to California instead of I-40.

Anyway, we’re 544.5 miles from the Lukoil gas station near the seminary’s married student housing.

I thought we’d never leave. We’d hoped to be done Friday at noon; in fact we didn’t finish packing the truck until about noon Saturday, and cleaning the house and packing our vehicles took until 7pm. Thank the Lord for good neighbors. (Honor roll: Phil T. from church, Bill M. from church and also from seminary, and Susan S-B & Mr. B., Sampson, and David and Caty A. from seminary.) I can’t say I’m looking forward to unloading the truck without them in the desert. (“But it’s a dry heat!”) Pretty clever of me to schedule a move during a nationwide heat-wave, huh?

Our stuff, which did not include any major appliances, took 20-odd feet of a truck 9×8 feet in cross section. The top foot of that isn’t as well-packed as I’d like, but I did my best. Call it 1260 cubic feet. I can’t wait to hear how much it weighed. Note: our new house is about 1500 square feet in area. So unloading the truck will be non-trivial even apart from the desert heat.

P.S. I preached on the 23rd and was called there! Someday after I get there I hope the church aquires a web site, then I’ll link there.

Fifty boxes

Goodness. I’ve packed 50 boxes. Most of them are book boxes (1.5 c.f.) but there are a half dozen or so each of banker’s and case-of-copier-paper boxes. The book boxes average about 52 lbs. each, so I’ve got just about one ton of book boxes. The banker’s boxes and paper cases are a little lighter. My back hurts.

Book Packing

I’ve been packing. Our lease (actually, the 1-month extension) runs out at the end of the month, so we’re moving. I expect to know where we’re moving no later than the 24th or 25th, so we can give the moving company a “to:” address.

Anyway, I’ve been packing books. I hope to mail some of them to their final destination. (Oddly enough, the USPS media mail rate is cheaper than certain national relocation specialists. Which is why a stamp costs $0.39, I suppose.)

With the first couple of boxes I did a little study. I figured out that a 1.5 cubic-foot box of my old computer books averages 39 books and 55 lbs, while same size box of seminary books has 51 books but only weighs 45 lbs. These samples aren’t perfectly representative. The computer book sample represents almost half of the computer books I still have. (I used to have a whole bunch more, but my wife spent the last three years unloading them them on half.com.) The sample of seminary books, on the other hand, was only about 5-10% of that category, and even then, it skewed light, since it included a bunch of C.S. Lewis paperbacks.

But from these (flawed but not hopelessly so) data can be determined the following facts:

  • My average computer book weighs 1 lb 6.5 oz., while the average book from seminary weighs 14.1 oz.
  • The average computer book in this sample occupies 66.5 cubic inches while the average seminary book occupies only 50.8 cubic inches. (Typically, books aren’t cubical, but if they were, these would be cubes 4.0 and 3.7 inches on each side, respectively.)
  • Thus, the density of a computer book is about 5.6 ounces per cubic inch, while a seminary book is about 3.8 ounces per cubic inch.

(These numbers again in SI, for the world readership: computer books average 0.64 kg mass, 1.089 litres in volume, and 0.59 g/cm^3 density. Seminary books average 0.40 kg mass, only about 0.83 litres volume, and about 0.48 g/cm^3 density.)

Still Alive…

I’ve been traveling. Just had two back-to-back trips to various places for neutral-pulpit sermons. The weekends were packed with being shown the church and town, meeting with COM, recovering on each end of the trip from jet-lag, etc. I also wrote separate sermons each week, being (so far) a lectionary preacher. All in all it takes up a fair bit of time.

Also I got a sinus infection (which seems to happen with pretty much every cold). I’m taking some bloody antibiotic (appears not to work, after 5 days in a 10-day regime) and mucinex (?) to try to lessen the pastiness of my mucus. Okay. That last was probably too much information.

My point is just that I am alive. Just busy. And sick.

Ultimate Productivity Desktop

The machine I’m writing this on will be five years old by the end of the summer. I bought it as a treat when I got hired by my last regular employer. It’s spent the last three years as a file server. Most of that time it was turned off; for the most part I only powered it up to do backups.

It’s pretty underpowered by today’s standards, but in its prime it was a beast: an AMD Athlon processor running at 1 GHz, 512 MB of RAM, and two 40 GB drives (one of which has subsequently been replaced by a 120 GB drive). It’s been running Linux since I put it together, starting with Red Hat 7.0, iirc, and now Fedora Core 5.

I still have my laptop, but since graduating I’ve been using this machine to do most of my work. My work, of course, is getting a job, or, as we say, finding a call. Some church somewhere is going to call me as their pastor. My work, as long as it takes, is figuring out where they are, and letting them know about me so they can do their part.

This task requires me to:

  1. look at the PC(USA) web site that lists opportunities
  2. investigate these on the web (consulting the sites for the church and its presbytery, if they exist, as well as things like Google Maps and City-Data).
  3. hand-craft a letter to the PNC explaining what it is about a particular church I find attractive, and highlighting some reasons why I think I might be suited to be its pastor.
  4. email that to the PNC
  5. attach to the email an official form, called a PIF.

    The PIF is a sort of ugly resume designed by a committee. It is maintained in a database by the PC(USA) but it can’t be viewed by anybody but me and the computer program that (allegedly) matches candidates to opportunities. So I can’t just send the PNC a pointer to my PIF. Instead I have to send them a copy of it. I call up my PIF in a web browser and “print” a copy to PDF.

    The PDF is what I attach to my email “cover letter.”

  6. If the church is interested in me, they usually ask for a sample tape of one of my sermons. I send them a DVD made in-house by my many-talented wife on our eMac using iMovie and iDVD. In the package I include a hardcopy cover letter explaining why they just received this disc, viz., it is in response to their request. I’m able to write these letters in AbiWord and print to PDF (or save as RTF) and print them on the eMac, to which the printer is attached.
  7. I also have to keep track of what I’ve sent to whom and why.

And the surprising thing is that I’m doing this all on my old Linux PC. It’s office work, and because I’m (essentially) marketing myself to strangers, there’s an emphasis not only on content but form as well. But between the web browser, AbiWord, and ubiquitous PDF-generation capability — and virtual desktops — I’m finding that my 5 year-old Linux machine is, pretty much, the ultimate productivity desktop.