I'm from the Government. I'm here to help. (1 in a series)

From Slashdot today, a lengthy piece: “New Legislation Would Federalize Cybersecurity.”

The bill, containing many of the recommendations of the landmark study “Securing Cyberspace for the 44th Presidency” by the Center for Strategic and International Studies …

Who is this? Anybody with expertise in computers and/or security? According to their web page, no. But it does include (among others) Sam Nunn, Zbig Brzezinski, Richard Armitage, William Cohen, Carla Hills, James Schlesinger, Brent Scowcroft, and (of course) Henry Kissinger. It looks like a blue-ribbon commission in-waiting, made up of ex-Secretaries of State and Defense. Could even one of them tell you what SSL is? Not how it works, just what it stands for? I doubt it.

So, what is it they want to do?

…would create the Office of the National Cybersecurity Adviser, whose leader would report directly to the president and would coordinate defense efforts across government agencies. The legislation calls for the appointment of a White House cybersecurity “czar” with unprecedented authority to shut down computer networks, including private ones, if a cyberattack is underway.

This would be the same Federal government that runs the FAA’s computers. I’m sure they have all kinds of useful advice for anyone running a fleet of IBM 704s.

But the most predictable thing about the recommended legislation?

The legislation also would require licensing and certification of cybersecurity professionals.

Because that has worked so well in the areas of medicine and law. For the doctors and lawyers, I mean–not for anyone else.

Creating a guild — straight out of the middle ages — to regulate entry into and practice within a trade. It hardly augurs well for something as high-tech and 21st-Century as cybersecurity.

Bah.

Why I Didn't Watch the Press Conference

Look here: four lies from the President and one from a reporter laid out by the Annenberg Center’s FactCheck.org. (Which, without casting aspersions, I think we can all agree is hardly a bastion of the Rush Limbaugh right wing. Check its staff.)

The scary thing about the piece isn’t that the President’s a liar. Nobody’s surprised by that, surely. The scary thing is the chart of Federal deficit projections midway through the “Analysis” part of the page.

This is why I don’t watch press conferences and speeches: because I don’t want to waste my time being lied to. (Well, this week I also had to try that new Mongolian Beef recipe.) There’s nothing that the President or any other politician has to say to me that I can’t wait a couple of days to hear. (I like to think of analysis pieces like this one as as the morning-after burrito for politicians.)

I bought another PC…

And worst of all, it’s got Hasta La.

That’s actually the reason I got it. There’s something I need to do. It requires either a couple of weeks of my spare time to get it working on a Mac or on Linux, or $268 to get a new Dell and do it on a PC.

I’ve mentioned here my earlier purchase of a certified refurbished laptop from Dell. Well, I just purchased a PC with the following features:

  • Intel Pentium dual-core processor E5200 (2MB L2, 2.5GHz, 800 FSB)
  • Optical 2-Button Mouse and USB Keyboard
  • Genuine Windows Vista Home Premium
  • 4 GB DDR2 NON-ECC SDRAM 800MHz (4 DIMMs)
  • 320 GB SATA Hard Drive (7200 RPM)
  • 16X DVD +/- RW w/dbl layer write capability
  • 1 Yr Limited Hardware Warranty, In-Home Service after Remote Diagnosis, 24×7 Phone Support

For less than $300. No coupons, no mail-in rebates. Just order it. Amazing.

I wonder what I can sell it for in 3 months when I no longer need it? $100? $50? A venti latte at Fourbucks?

Star Trek (TOS) Plot Generator

This article nails it.

When I was in college, I was in a team of three people that had to write an operating system. (One of us, Dan, who was clearly the most prolific and talented programmer among us, nearly torpedoed the project by doing something incredibly clever that kept everything else from working. Then he bailed out a couple of days after the semester ended, instead of sticking to his post when the cadets ran, leaving Kevin and I to finish the job in the final hours before grades were due.)

Anyway, I mention this because the name of our Operating System was “Enterprise,” and our terminology was adapted from TOS. (Which, in those days, was The Only Show.) For example, instead of having initializing processes, we “beamed aboard” “ambassadors.” Most of our analogies were equally poor. Something like this chart could have really helped us make clever diagnostic output.

Get Smart

I finished Get Smart (2008) last night. It was fair, but slightly better than I expected. It wasn’t a great spy movie, of course, but it wasn’t as funny as I expected. I was expecting nonstop slapstick, and this was simply a comedy. A fair amount of its humor was sexual, but it wasn’t always quite as heavy-handed as I was prepared for.

What was interesting to me was the problem the filmmakers set for themselves: a boy meets girl movie. How do you do that, when the boy is a bumbler — interestingly, Max was only a bumbler and not an outright idiot, as in the TV show — and the girl is an ultra-competent Jane Smith | Vesper Lynd | female Jason Bourne type? What could 99 find attractive in 86? (Answer: — spoiler alert! — he’s a good dancer.)

Political advice from investors

Warren Buffett wants us all to line up behind the president.

Buffett said he believes patriotic Republicans and Democrats will realize the nation is engaged in an economic war.

“What is required is a commander in chief that’s looked at like a commander in chief in a time of war,” Buffett said.

From LBJ’s “War on Poverty” to Jimmy Carter’s “moral equivalent of war” to Rahm Emmanuel’s “never let a serious crisis go to waste” there are always demagogues who deliberately blur the line between peace and war in order to browbeat patriotic citizens into doing whatever their leaders tell them to do.

Because, in a war, patriots do as Buffet proposes. They allow temporary curbs on their liberties in order to fight an immediate threat. (Except if the war begins in 2001 with a Republican in the White House, in which case dissent is the highest form of patriotism.)

But bad as our economic problems are, they aren’t a war.

Congress has the authority to declare war, and Obama has control of Congress. No declaration, no war. On the contrary, Congress is going about business very much as usual, passing bills for trillions of dollars in deficit spending for such vital wartime priorities like paying people to convert their analog TVs to receive digital signals.

If we were in a war, though, whom or what would it be against? I’ve never liked the phrase “War on Terror” because it’s afraid to name names, but at least it makes a pretense of doing so. Who, then, should the American people line up behind the Great Leader to fight? The rich? The bankers? Profiteers?

And what of those whose job was to keep us out of war? After Pearl Harbor, Admiral Kimmel was cashiered. If we are in a war, why is Chris Dodd still a senator? Why isn’t Franklin Raines in prison?

Finally, the reason patriots accept sacrifice in wartime is that it is temporary. Imagine if Lincoln created the Secret Service, or FDR created the CIA, and they never went away. Okay, those are bad examples. A better example is free speech, which Oliver Wendell Holmes said could be constrained during WWI when it might pose a clear and present danger. When the war ended, wartime curbs no longer applied.

But the things being done by the administration and congress are designed to inflict permanent damage on our institutions. For example, the effort to socialize health care is designed not to address an immediate threat, but to make a permanent change in our society.

The big question about Buffet’s remarks is whether he knows better. Could he really have gotten that rich if he were this obtuse? And would anybody take what he said seriously if he had said the same thing after 9-11?

Updates: to be fair to Buffet, he has recently argued against card check:

“I think the secret ballot’s pretty important in the country. You know, I’m against card check, to make a perfectly flat statement,” Buffett said.

Buffet also argued against Obama’s “I won” philosophy of larding up economic programs with Democrat payoffs:

“If you’re in a war, and we really are in an economic war, there’s a obligation to the majority to behave in ways to not go around inflaming the minority. If on Dec. 8, or maybe it was Dec. 7, when Roosevelt convened Congress to vote on the war. He didn’t say, ‘I’m throwing in about ten of my pet projects,'” Buffett said.

Welcome to the bigs

Good grief. The reason we insulted the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was because the President is all worn out from pushing socialized medicine and out-of-control spending.

Barack Obama’s offhand approach to Gordon Brown’s Washington visit last week came about because the president was facing exhaustion over America’s economic crisis and is unable to focus on foreign affairs…

I’m not sure I buy it. On the one hand, it sounds nicer than the calculated-insult theory. On the other hand, surely someone on staff at the White House would advise against broadcasting our President’s limitations.

From the article:

Sources close to the White House say Mr Obama and his staff have been “overwhelmed” by the economic meltdown and have voiced concerns that the new president is not getting enough rest.

Man up, already. What was it Harry S Truman said about heat and kitchens?

(Kudus to IP.)